Enlarge Joseph Allen (left) and Federico Rios of Communities in Schools.

Posted: March 2nd, 2011 Rhiannon Fionn-Bowman

Not every child grows up with two parents, but you don't need to tell Federico Rios, Joseph Allen or John Kirkpatrick that. They work with Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools students through an organization called Communities In Schools (CIS), a nonprofit that helps "kids stay in school and prepare for life."

The men each have offices in CMS schools -- Rios at Hidden Valley Elementary, Allen at Druid Hills Elementary and Kirkpatrick at Reid Park Elementary -- and see firsthand how children are affected when one of their parents isn't involved in their lives.

That's why Rios began looking for a way to connect those children with positive male figures, and how he came up with the idea for MENCONNECT, a new CIS program in which men serve as mentors for grade school boys.

"The reason we focus on boys," he said, "is because our boys see women all day." For instance, in his school, there are only seven adult males in the building -- custodians included.

In May 2010, he organized the program's first event: a four-hour session in which one volunteer hung out with 10 students who were allowed to ask the volunteer anything -- and they did. What he didn't want to do was lecture the kids. "We're tired of talking at kids," Rios said, "we want to talk with kids."

The event was a success. Soon, Allen approached him about expanding the program to his school. Then Kirkpatrick did the same. They kicked off this school year with a breakfast for their volunteers, which, Allen said, had many of the male volunteers in tears. Rios and Allen suspect many of them know exactly what it's like to grow up in a fatherless household.

The trio planned four other events this year. Kirkpatrick came up with the idea for a program called "Grooming with the Stars," where the boys participated in a three-course meal and learned about etiquette, were given a dress shirt, offered a haircut and taught how to tie a tie.

This past November, 65 students and 15 volunteers participated in an event called "There's no 'I' in 'Team'." In May, they hope to host a "Dads and Grads" event that will focus on the need for higher education, and in June they'll celebrate the end of the school year.

The success of their programs, however, depends almost entirely on volunteer participation. Allen, Kirkpatrick and Rios already know they can't be the main men in all of these children's lives. That's why, Rios said, "The more support we can get, the more we can do."

CIS operates nationwide and has a presence in 44 CMS schools with 52 employees. Each coordinator's case load includes roughly 100 students, all of whom participate voluntarily. To get involved, visit CISCharlotte.org.

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