Enlarge Asia McLean shares her thoughts about negative music.

Posted: January 20th, 2012 Tonya Jameson

The scenario is all too familiar for some. A good friend, or maybe a family member, is a victim of domestic violence. Her husband or boyfriend is physically or mentally – often both – abusive, but the victim keeps going back or never leaves.

On Saturday, about a half dozen people discussed this and other scenarios that challenge our inner peace during an A.C.T (Achieving Community Today)-sponsored discussion called “Beautiful from the Inside Out.” The talk targeted people who were victims of or who’ve been affected by domestic violence. It was the first part of a two-part Love Project created by Amy Stewart. The second part of the project involves documenting stories by people affected by domestic violence.

Stewart said she hopes the project will teach people to find the similarities with each other.

On Saturday, participants spent the first half of the five-hour workshop discussing a range of situations that challenge our inner peace. Dave Nichols talked about how the Lakewood Community became more united once neighbors talked more to each other and began to look out for each other. Thirteen-year-old Asia McLean told the group that she and her younger brother stopped listening to the radio because the music is too negative. She said she feels happier.

The participants also discussed the victimology of domestic violence. Gaylene Macuska, a domestic violence victim and victim’s advocate, shared the story of being an abusive marriage. Macuska finally ended the relationship after she wrote a suicide letter to her parents and they sent authorities to escort her to safety.

Tarik Kiley talked about his desire to help a friend who is currently in an abusive relationship, but refuses to leave. Kiley wants so badly for his friend to dump the guy and has often told her so.

Macuska and the other participants explained that domestic violence victims don’t need someone to tell them what to do. These women have to make the decision to leave on their own. Victims do need a friend who will listen and who will help them when they do finally make the difficult to decision to leave an abuser. The women said victims often leave an abuser seven to nine times before finally leaving for good.

It was difficult advice for Kiley to accept, but he agreed to try.

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